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Premarital Sex

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Looking At The Facts

Please understand that God has no problem with sex – He created it! However, being the Creator, He is well aware that used outside the context of marriage, sex is a disaster. So in light of all that you will read below, it is not surprising that God has always warned us in the Bible about the dangers of sexual relations before or outside of marriage. (Click here to see what God says) God always wants to protect us from the dangerous consequences of sin, and once again we learn that God is smarter than us!

FACTS ON SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

HURTS FUTURE MARRIAGE

• Couples who engage in sex before marriage are far more likely to divorce. According to a study by the National Survey of Family Growth, women who have premarital sex increase their odds of divorce by about 60 percent. In a study on premarital sex and the risk of divorce, the Journal of Marriage and the Family reported that those women who had been sexually active prior to marriage faced "a considerably higher risk of marital disruption than women who were virgin brides." (Joan R. Kahn and Kathryn A. London, "Premarital Sex and the Risk of Divorce," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53 (1991)

• Statistically, the more sexually involved you are BEFORE marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery AFTER marriage." (Andrew M. Greeley, Faithful Attraction: Discovering Intimacy, Love and Fidelity in American Marriage (New York: Tom Doherty Associates, 1991).

DISEASE FACTS

• In 1995, the Department of Health and Human Services found that 50 percent of young women and 55 percent of young men (ages 15-19) reported being "sexually active."

• Every year, three million young people are infected with one of 60-odd sexually transmittable diseases (STDs). According to the Western Journal of Nursing Research, "because of the high incidence of STDs among adolescents, they are more likely to have sexual partners with an STD... even if the adolescent has had only one partner." Left untreated, these diseases can lead to severe health problems, including infertility.

• Females who have slept with three or more people over a lifetime are 15 times more likely to get cervical cancer.

• In 1995, the Centers for Disease Control announced that AIDS had become the leading cause of death among 25-44 year olds in the U.S.

• 56 million Americans--one out of every five are suffering from incurable viruses. Even more have bacterial and fungal infections that cause infertility and other physical problems. Another sad toll - 1.5 million babies are aborted each year.

• Approximately one out of four women have been infected with the genital herpes virus. Unbelievably, 46 percent of black women (almost 1 in 2) and 18 percent of white women (almost 1 in 5) carry this infection. A study of sexually active college women showed that in one three-year period, 43 percent acquired the human papillomavirus (HPV), which causes warts and in some, cervical cancer. The disease kills nearly as many women each year as AIDS. In addition, 60 percent of the women suffering from HPV were infected sometime during their college years.

• When women depend on condoms as contraception, there is a 10%-20% chance of becoming pregnant every year. Now pregnancy can only occur in one 24-hour period each month. If a female has that high of a chance of getting pregnant, how high is her chance of getting a sexually transmitted disease that she can contract every day of the year?

• What about having anal or oral sex? While you can't get pregnant this way, you can still give and contract sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). STDs can be easily spread through the membranes in the mouth and anus. In fact, some organisms, such as HIV, are much more easily spread through anal intercourse.

• An estimated 10 to 15 percent of couples, (about 10 million people), suffer from infertility. (have difficulty conceiving) A significant number (but not all) of these infertility problems are a direct consequence of sexually transmitted diseases from sex before marriage.
  

LIVING TOGETHER FACTS

• Couples who believe that you should "drive the car before you buy it" and live together before marriage are unlikely to marry. A Columbia University study found that "only 26 percent of women surveyed and a scant 19 percent of men" married the person they were living with. In addition to this, another study showed that even if they do marry, couples who begin their marriages through cohabitation are almost twice as likely to divorce within 10 years compared to all first marriages: 57 percent to 80 percent. Researchers from Yale University, Columbia University, and the Institute for Resource Development at Westinghouse, found that divorce is significantly more prevalent for couples who cohabit with their future spouses. They found that, on average, women who cohabit before marriage have a divorce rate that is 80 percent higher than the rates of those who do not. (Neil G. Bennett, Ann Klimas Blanc, and David E. Bloom, "Commitment and the Modern Union: Assessing the Link Between Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability," American Sociological Review 53 (1988):127-138.

• A study conducted by the Family Violence Research Program at the University of New Hampshire found that, compared to married couples, the overall rates of violence for cohabiting couples was twice as high, and the overall rate for "severe" violence was nearly five times as high. (Kersti Yllo and Murray A. Straus, "Interpersonal Violence Among Married and Cohabiting Couples," Family Relations 30 (1981): p. 343.

• Women in cohabiting relationships report a much greater rates of depression than women in married relationships. (Christina Hoff Sommers, Who Stole Feminism? How Women Have Betrayed Women (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994) p. 251.
  

SEXUAL SATISFACTION FACTS

• A few years ago the Family Research Council surveyed 1,100 people about their sexual satisfaction. In a Washington Post op-ed, FRC's William Mattox, Jr. took a look at the exciting results. The poll found that 72 percent of all married people who strongly believe out of wedlock sex is wrong report high sexual satisfaction. Mattox states, "This is roughly 31 percentage points higher than the level registered by unmarried people who have no or only some objection to sex outside of marriage and 13 percentage points higher than that registered by married people who have no or only some objection to sex outside of marriage."

• Married people are most likely to report they are "extremely" or "very satisfied" with the physical and emotional parts of their sex life. (Robert Michael, et al., Sex in America: A Definitive Survey (Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1994); E.O. Laumann, et al., The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994).

• It gets better. Mattox noted that the survey "found that strictly monogamous women experienced orgasm during sex more than twice as often as promiscuous women." He quoted National Institutes of Health researcher David Larson, who says that couples who don¹t sleep together before marriage and who are faithful during marriage "are more satisfied with their current sex life and also with their marriages compared to those who were involved sexually before marriage." ("The Hottest Valentines: the Startling Secret of What Makes You a High-Voltage Lover," by William R. Mattox Jr., The Washington Post, Feb. 13, 1994.)

• People who have premarital sex run the chance of marrying someone who¹s not right for them. Why? Because sexual intimacy can be emotionally blinding: it makes couples feel closer than they really are.

• After "safe sex" programs didn't work, young people rediscovering abstinence has begun to pay off. This isn't just wishful thinking - research confirms it After years of continually rising promiscuity, that trend has stopped -- and now the percentage of teens who have ever had sex is dropped in the 1990s, from 54% in 1990 through 1995 to 48% in 1997. These figures are just the tip of the iceberg. A New York Times/CBS News poll in April found that nearly half of teens (53 percent of girls, 41 percent of boys) say that sex before marriage is "always wrong."

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What God Says About Sex

Here are some of the things that God said about sex outside of marriage – as you will see, He takes sexual involvement VERY seriously – so should we.

ROMANS 13:13,14
Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy.But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

I CORINTHIANS 6:9-11
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God .And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

GALATIANS 5:19-21
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God .

EPHESIANS 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

I THESSALONIANS 4:1-8
Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no-one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

HEBREWS 13:4
Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

I PETER 2:11
Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.

I PETER 4:2,3
So live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries.

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